What If...

Time for a game of "What If...?".

What If you were born to a faithful and loving family and raised in the Church? What if you attended Primary as a child, YM/YW as a youth and graduated from Seminary and Institute, then served and returned from an honourable mission before getting married for Time and All Eternity to your sweetheart? What if you did all the right things?

So, pretending that this has been your life, what are the little things that you would have done in your life today? What would you have done when you woke up? What would you have said to your spouse?

What would you have done getting dressed, getting children ready, going to work or school? What would you have done while driving or taking the train? What would you have said to your coworkers?

What would you do when you got home? What would you have said to you family, or done? What would you do that evening, when you eat dinner, and before you go to bed?

(Feel free to write these things down in your "Filling My Reservoir" journal, if you wish. These sorts of things are marvelous dreams!)

Looking over this list of little things that you would do, do you do them now?

If so, mazel! Keep up the good work.

If not, why not?

Over the years, I've had several conversations with several people about lifestyle choices. And they have, invariably, said to me, "Oh, it's easy for you. You were born in the church" or "Oh, well, you've always done that sort of thing," or "Well, I've had a lot of challenges in my life."

Honey, every single one of us has challenges in our lives, some of them so dire and powerful that it nearly killed us. Every. Single. One. Of. Us. Is put here on this earth to be tested. Sometimes the bad things that happen to us are consequenses of our poor choices. But other times, bad things happen not as a consequence, but as a challenge given to us by the Lord.

Regardless, it's unfair and self-pitying to think that we might be more challenged than someone else and we should be cut some slack.

Why should we use that as a pithy excuse for not doing or behaving or being the sort of person we, ultimately, want to be?

It might be that in the past you were abandoned, orphaned, abused, neglected, starved, forgotten, bullied and ran over by a truck. But why should that disqualify you from saying, "Today, I shall be a Disciple of Christ."

Yeah, the past happened. Sometimes it's regretful or painful. But will it disqualify me from making a choice today, right now?

A friend of mine, a few weeks ago, declared she and her husband were going to stop smoking. Alas, her resolve didn't last long. A week ago, she excused herself from our little gathering to go out for a puff.

Boldly, I said to her, "Don't smoke that cigarette."

Her reply: "You don't know what it's like. You've never smoked." She's right. I never have. Granted, that makes it easier for me to choose to not smoke a cigarette.

Yet has her past history of poor choices and bad experiences mean she can't choose not to smoke? No. She will always have that choice. "You can smoke the next one, if you wish," I explained. "Just don't smoke that one."

So what if you weren't born in the church and constantly nurtured within the arms of the Gospel, as it should truly be lived? Does that mean you can't live today as if you had been raised thus?

There is absolutely no reason at all that you can't behave today as if you were the noble Latter-Day Saint you aspire to be. You cannot be stopped if you don't want to be.

Excuses are the Adversary's tool to discourage you and beguile you to behaving less than you are worth. Stop making them.

This might not seem fair to you, but if you behaved today as if you had been a Saint your whole life (regardless of your past), you will get the blessings of being that Saint, because of today. That is the Saviour's way.

What If... I behaved today as a strong, faithful Latter-Day Saint, full of joy and the spirit of Christ?

Who cares what yesterday was like? This is today.

Choose today to make your stand.

Filling My Reservoir Exercise - Finding My Living Water

(March, or when you are ready)

Identifying How I Will Fill My Reservoir

Now that I've done a self-assessment, I will have a better idea of my strengths and weaknesses. Now is the time to put together my plan of action. Now is the time to dream.

What are my strengths? Knowing these will help me maintain them. Knowing my strengths gives me confidence and bolsters my courage. I can recognise my self-worth in myself, in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of my Heavenly Father. This is the core of my being and I want to keep it solid.

Just because my strengths are strong does not mean I do not have to maintain them. I can select goals that keep my edges sharp and keen and that add to the strength of my successes. This will be my baseline to work from.

What are my weaknesses? Once I have identified them, I can work on them and improve them. Weaknesses are only weaknesses if I allow them to be.

Granted, there may be some weaknesses I cannot change (for example, I suffer a physical condition that cannot improve, or I suffer an incurable mental illness). But these challenges are manageable. There is a big difference between saying, "I can't do anything about that," and "What can I do to better cope with this?" A blind woman may never see again, but that doesn't mean she can't learn to read Braille. There is always a work-around for something that may see impossible. Can I find it?

Part of identifying my weaknesses is accepting what I can't change, and changing what I can. Attitude can make all the difference.

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Exercise B

Part A: On separate pages in a journal list the following:

• What are my strengths?
  
• What are my weaknesses?

Part B: On the next pages of a journal, list the following:

• How can I maintain my strengths? Include an occasional idea for improving on a strength.
  
• Why are these my weaknesses?

A funny thing about weaknesses: a weakness is a symptom of something else going on in my life. Sometimes it is not enough to address the weakness itself, but to address the underlying cause. If I can identify that underlying cause, I am well on my way to dealing with a weakness.

Part C: On a page of a journal, answer:

• What do I want to change or improve about myself?

I'll keep this simple. I will make these generalities. These are grand, sweeping changes I want to make. I'll set my ultimate goals in mind. Later, I will identify little ways or stepping stones that will lead me to my ultimate goals.

"I wish I was smarter." "I wish I was closer to God." "I want to be a better mother." "I want a better job." "I want to lose weight." "I need to balance a budget better." "I want to learn to drive a car." "I want to own a home." "I want a college degree." "I want people to like me more." "I want to be able to speak in public." "I want to learn how to sew my own clothes, or fix my car." "I want to bake delicious things (I can't even boil an egg right now)." "I want to speak German."

I shouldn't worry at this point how I will achieve these goals. The first step is to identify what they are.

One-to-Ten: Filling My Reservoir Exercise

For those of you still getting started on your self-reflection, how about starting your journal with an easy One-to-Ten exercise? So...

On a scale of 1 to 10, I am...

A. Physical Health

1. My health is terrible. It is a great surprise that I am not dead.
   
2. Oh dear. My health is so bad, it will kill me soon.
   
3. I'm tired all the time, I get sick often, I'm terribly overweight or underweight.
   
4. I manage, but only just.
   
5. I know what I should do, but don't do better.
   
6. I do okay, but could do better.
   
7. I eat a healthy diet and get some exercise, but there is room for improvement.
   
8. I have plenty of energy and sleep well at night.
   
9. I am in fine form and recover quickly from illness.
   
10. I am an elite athlete.
    

B. Spiritual Wellbeing

1. I can't be bothered.
   
2. I believe in Christ, but don't do anything about it.
   
3. I know the Gospel is true. I go to church. Isn't that enough?
   
4. I pray whenever I remember. I went to Seminary once.
   
5. I am afraid. Sometimes I let my fear get the better of me.
   
6. I do okay, but could up my game a little.
   
7. I want to serve. Really, I do.
   
8. Prayer is a daily necessity and I thirst for the knowledge in the Scriptures.
   
9. The Gospel fills my every day with joy.
   
10. I give my all in the Name of Christ.
    

C. Financial Standing

1. Oh boy, I am so far in debt, my great-grandchildren will be paying it off.
   
2. I have been very foolish with money. I haven't a clue how to manage.
   
3. I have plenty of debts and not sure if I'll ever be out of debt.
   
4. I never have enough money.
   
5. I break even, most of the time.
   
6. I keep my debts firmly in check.
   
7. I manage my debts and have a little left over for savings.
   
8. I am financially secure with only a mortgage.
   
9. I am financially secure with no debt.
   
10. I am independently wealthy.
    

D. Skill Toolbox

1. I'm useless and a liability.
   
2. I'd rather someone else took care of everything.
   
3. Wenever a crisis arises, I panic.
   
4. I wish I was more competent in more things.
   
5. I can handle a few things, but leave everything else to someone else.
   
6. I'm upskilling.
   
7. I am competent generally.
   
8. I am confident I can figure out how to solve something.
   
9. I am prepared to handle life.
   
10. I always know what to do when anything come my way.
    

E. Dreaming

1. Reality is as it is and we should all accept that.
   
2. I don't know why I'd bother. It's not like I can do anything about it.
   
3. I wish I could do something about it.
   
4. Wouldn't it be nice if...?
   
5. A girl can dream, can't she? By gum, I'm gonna dream.
   
6. I imagine myself being what I want to be.
   
7. Someday I will be better than I am.
   
8. Think of all the wonderful things I could do!
   
9. The world is my oyster, should I wish it.
   
10. The sky's the limit! Someday I shall be Queen of the Universe.
    

F. Motivation

1. I can't/won't do anything about that.
   
2. I'll do something about it later.

10. I'm going to do something right now.
    

Filling My Reservoir Exercise: The Selfie

This is an exercise on reflection and analysis.

Get your camera phone and take a "selfie" (self-portrait). Do the one take; don't keep trying and trying until you get the "perfect" shot.

Look at it. Study it. What do you see?

Write down your reactions, no matter what they are. You will have multiple thoughts about this picture, some of them conflicting.

Keep this shot for at least a few days. After that, you can delete it, if you choose. Before you delete it, write down your thoughts behind deleting your selfie. If you choose to keep it, write down your thoughts on that.

There are no right or wrong answers.

Filling My Reservoir - Self-Reflection (February)

How Full is My Reservoir?

There is always room in my reservoirs for more water. Sometimes a sprinkling of water will fall into my reservoirs, but the greatest gains are when I put it in myself.

What kind of water do I need to add to my reservoir?

For these first few weeks, I will take some time to reflect upon myself and have a good, honest look at my character. This is not yet the time to act, but to realise.

I will answer these questions for myself. I will be honest, even if it hurts. This is an exercise to take a good, honest and true look at myself. I can acknowledge what I've achieved, what I've done right. I can acknowledge my lacks and my weak spots. I can only begin to fix them if I can identify them.

Time to get to work.

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Exercise A

Get a simple notebook and create a journal. Write down the answers to the questions on the following page.

As I populate my journal with the answers to these questions, I will do so with courage. I will not shirk or shy away from anything that might be painful.

I want as true a portrait of myself as I can get. Pretending I am strong in an area that is weak will do me no favours. One of my goals is to overcome my weaknesses, not hide away from them.

This is not an exercise in figuring out how to solve these problems. At this stage, I am merely identifying strengths and weaknesses.

• How much courage do I possess? Can I act when afraid or unsure or nervous?
  
• What are my best qualities? How did they become my best?
  
• What are my worst traits? Why are they my worst?
  
• What other traits do I possess (or lack) that I have not mentioned above?
  
• How is my physical health? What is best about it? What is worst about it?
  
• How is my spiritual health? What am I strong in? What am I weak in?
  
• How is my mental health? Do I take every opportunity I have to gain knowledge? Do I know what my limitations are?
  
• How is my self-awareness and perception?
  
• How is my social health? How well do I interact with others? How do they perceive me? (I can--and should--ask select others for the answers to this question. Ask this of someone who will give me an honest answer. They will see traits in me that I may not.)
  
• What makes me happiest?
  
• What scares me?
  
• What do I enjoy the most?
  
• What do I avoid the most?
  
• What do I want to change most about myself?
  
• What is it about myself I wish to keep?
  
• Am I honest with myself?

Filling My Reservoir - Strengthening the Individual Woman (Intro)

Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

per·fect : [pur-fikt; per-fekt]
adj. 1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type.
2. excellent or complete.
3. exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose.
Verb. 1. to bring to completion; finish.
2. to bring nearer to perfection; improve.
3. to make fully skilled.
Origin Latin perfectus, past participle of perficere  to finish, bring to completion

As women, we are often called upon to do many things. When the call comes to us, we are true to our eternal natures and answer it with service.

When our personal reservoirs are full, we are able to give and to work cheerfully.

Sometimes, we find that we've neglected ourselves. Our reservoirs are not as full as they could be, and that leaves us with a bit of a lack. Empty reservoirs will affect our ability to do what we need to in life.

Perhaps we are afraid and we back down from an opportunity for service and growth. Or maybe we go ahead, giving reserves we don't have. As a result, we only end up injuring ourselves. This is not good.

To enable a woman to reach her full potential, we are encouraging her to fill her personal reservoir. We wish every sister to work this year towards filling more of herself so that if she is ever called upon in her personal life, at work, at church or wherever she may be, she will have the capacity and the resources to achieve excellence.

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The Waters of My Reservoir

This year, I will dedicate myself to building me up in these four areas:

Physical Spiritual Mental Social

Sometimes I may find myself stronger in one area than another. I plan to discover what I am weakest in and give it a bit more focus.

Physical

Heavenly Father gave me my body and He wants me to take care of it. I cannot avoid old age, but I can maintain excellent health practices and manage my mortal challenges the best I can. By feeding my body proper food and giving it beneficial exercise and treating it well, I will find my capacity to perform day-to-day will increase. By identifying illness early, I can get it treated and avoid complications.

Spiritual

When I increase my spirituality, I draw closer to my Heavenly Father and I gain a better understanding of my existence. By nourishing my spiritual side, I become more susceptible to the Holy Ghost's influence. Building my spiritual side will put me on a higher level of consciousness and enable me to see the world more as my Heavenly Father would.

Mental

My intelligence has been with me from the very beginning and will continue with me throughout the eternities. I will take the opportunity now to gain as much knowledge as I can. Knowledge is a precursor to wisdom. "The Glory of God is Intelligence."

Social

I am surrounded by my brothers and sisters. How I treat them is extremely important. Likewise, how I act will help determine how they treat me. Confidence and thoughtfulness are excellent goals of the strong, social woman.