Keeping Life's Demands in Balance

In Sister Gloria Leavitt's lesson last week (19 May, 2013 - Chapter 8: “Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart”), she referred to a conference talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard "Keeping Life's Demands in Balance" (Ensign, May 1987).

As she was unable to cover everything she prepared, we're posting an excerpt from her notes here:

In his Conference talk, Elder Ballard offers some tips for helping us keep our lives in balance.

1. Think about your life and set your priorities. (ed note: see chart below for more hints on how to set priorities.)
   
2. Set short-term goals that you can reach.
   
3. Through wise budgeting, control yoru real needs and measure them against your many wants in life.
   
4. Stay close to your spouse, children, relatives and friends.
   
5. Study the scriptures.
   
6. Find time for sufficient rest, exercise and relaxation. Schedule it in if you need to.
   
7. Families should teach one another the gospel, preferrably in Family Home Evening.
   
8. Pray often as individuals and families.

A member of the Church by the name of Stephen Covey once came up with a matrix to help determine priorities of everyday tasks.

For every thing in our day, we need to ask ourselves, is it Urgent? Is it Important?

1. If it is Urgent and Important, it needs doing right away. Things such as a crisis, medical emergency, crying baby, and pressing problems count as Urgent and Important. These things are of Necessity.
   
2. Is it Important, but not Urgent, you're better off doing it sooner, rather than later. Preparation/planning, prevention, important relationships (like family) and true recreation are Important, but not necessarily urgent. These things are of Quality.
   
3. Is it urgent, but not important? Sometimes some things seem more important than they are. Many phone calls and emails, other people's emergencies, some popular activities (like television shows) are urgent, but not important. These are the things of Deception.
   
4. What about the things that are not Important or Urgent? Trivia, busywork, mindlessness, some leisure pursuits that do not benefit your health, the mundane. These are the things of Waste and should be avoided.

Sometimes some women mistake Urgency for Importance. Do not make that mistake. If something Urgent crops up, determine if it is Important. If it's not, consider giving it a miss for now and go focus on something Important but not Urgent.

Exercise: Make a list of everything you do in a day. Determine if it's Urgent. Determine if it's Important. Make a priority of the things that are Important.

Filling My Reservoir Exercise - Finding My Living Water

(March, or when you are ready)

Identifying How I Will Fill My Reservoir

Now that I've done a self-assessment, I will have a better idea of my strengths and weaknesses. Now is the time to put together my plan of action. Now is the time to dream.

What are my strengths? Knowing these will help me maintain them. Knowing my strengths gives me confidence and bolsters my courage. I can recognise my self-worth in myself, in the eyes of the world and in the eyes of my Heavenly Father. This is the core of my being and I want to keep it solid.

Just because my strengths are strong does not mean I do not have to maintain them. I can select goals that keep my edges sharp and keen and that add to the strength of my successes. This will be my baseline to work from.

What are my weaknesses? Once I have identified them, I can work on them and improve them. Weaknesses are only weaknesses if I allow them to be.

Granted, there may be some weaknesses I cannot change (for example, I suffer a physical condition that cannot improve, or I suffer an incurable mental illness). But these challenges are manageable. There is a big difference between saying, "I can't do anything about that," and "What can I do to better cope with this?" A blind woman may never see again, but that doesn't mean she can't learn to read Braille. There is always a work-around for something that may see impossible. Can I find it?

Part of identifying my weaknesses is accepting what I can't change, and changing what I can. Attitude can make all the difference.

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Exercise B

Part A: On separate pages in a journal list the following:

• What are my strengths?
  
• What are my weaknesses?

Part B: On the next pages of a journal, list the following:

• How can I maintain my strengths? Include an occasional idea for improving on a strength.
  
• Why are these my weaknesses?

A funny thing about weaknesses: a weakness is a symptom of something else going on in my life. Sometimes it is not enough to address the weakness itself, but to address the underlying cause. If I can identify that underlying cause, I am well on my way to dealing with a weakness.

Part C: On a page of a journal, answer:

• What do I want to change or improve about myself?

I'll keep this simple. I will make these generalities. These are grand, sweeping changes I want to make. I'll set my ultimate goals in mind. Later, I will identify little ways or stepping stones that will lead me to my ultimate goals.

"I wish I was smarter." "I wish I was closer to God." "I want to be a better mother." "I want a better job." "I want to lose weight." "I need to balance a budget better." "I want to learn to drive a car." "I want to own a home." "I want a college degree." "I want people to like me more." "I want to be able to speak in public." "I want to learn how to sew my own clothes, or fix my car." "I want to bake delicious things (I can't even boil an egg right now)." "I want to speak German."

I shouldn't worry at this point how I will achieve these goals. The first step is to identify what they are.

One-to-Ten: Filling My Reservoir Exercise

For those of you still getting started on your self-reflection, how about starting your journal with an easy One-to-Ten exercise? So...

On a scale of 1 to 10, I am...

A. Physical Health

1. My health is terrible. It is a great surprise that I am not dead.
   
2. Oh dear. My health is so bad, it will kill me soon.
   
3. I'm tired all the time, I get sick often, I'm terribly overweight or underweight.
   
4. I manage, but only just.
   
5. I know what I should do, but don't do better.
   
6. I do okay, but could do better.
   
7. I eat a healthy diet and get some exercise, but there is room for improvement.
   
8. I have plenty of energy and sleep well at night.
   
9. I am in fine form and recover quickly from illness.
   
10. I am an elite athlete.
    

B. Spiritual Wellbeing

1. I can't be bothered.
   
2. I believe in Christ, but don't do anything about it.
   
3. I know the Gospel is true. I go to church. Isn't that enough?
   
4. I pray whenever I remember. I went to Seminary once.
   
5. I am afraid. Sometimes I let my fear get the better of me.
   
6. I do okay, but could up my game a little.
   
7. I want to serve. Really, I do.
   
8. Prayer is a daily necessity and I thirst for the knowledge in the Scriptures.
   
9. The Gospel fills my every day with joy.
   
10. I give my all in the Name of Christ.
    

C. Financial Standing

1. Oh boy, I am so far in debt, my great-grandchildren will be paying it off.
   
2. I have been very foolish with money. I haven't a clue how to manage.
   
3. I have plenty of debts and not sure if I'll ever be out of debt.
   
4. I never have enough money.
   
5. I break even, most of the time.
   
6. I keep my debts firmly in check.
   
7. I manage my debts and have a little left over for savings.
   
8. I am financially secure with only a mortgage.
   
9. I am financially secure with no debt.
   
10. I am independently wealthy.
    

D. Skill Toolbox

1. I'm useless and a liability.
   
2. I'd rather someone else took care of everything.
   
3. Wenever a crisis arises, I panic.
   
4. I wish I was more competent in more things.
   
5. I can handle a few things, but leave everything else to someone else.
   
6. I'm upskilling.
   
7. I am competent generally.
   
8. I am confident I can figure out how to solve something.
   
9. I am prepared to handle life.
   
10. I always know what to do when anything come my way.
    

E. Dreaming

1. Reality is as it is and we should all accept that.
   
2. I don't know why I'd bother. It's not like I can do anything about it.
   
3. I wish I could do something about it.
   
4. Wouldn't it be nice if...?
   
5. A girl can dream, can't she? By gum, I'm gonna dream.
   
6. I imagine myself being what I want to be.
   
7. Someday I will be better than I am.
   
8. Think of all the wonderful things I could do!
   
9. The world is my oyster, should I wish it.
   
10. The sky's the limit! Someday I shall be Queen of the Universe.
    

F. Motivation

1. I can't/won't do anything about that.
   
2. I'll do something about it later.

10. I'm going to do something right now.
    

Filling My Reservoir Exercise: The Selfie

This is an exercise on reflection and analysis.

Get your camera phone and take a "selfie" (self-portrait). Do the one take; don't keep trying and trying until you get the "perfect" shot.

Look at it. Study it. What do you see?

Write down your reactions, no matter what they are. You will have multiple thoughts about this picture, some of them conflicting.

Keep this shot for at least a few days. After that, you can delete it, if you choose. Before you delete it, write down your thoughts behind deleting your selfie. If you choose to keep it, write down your thoughts on that.

There are no right or wrong answers.