Keeping Life's Demands in Balance

In Sister Gloria Leavitt's lesson last week (19 May, 2013 - Chapter 8: “Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart”), she referred to a conference talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard "Keeping Life's Demands in Balance" (Ensign, May 1987).

As she was unable to cover everything she prepared, we're posting an excerpt from her notes here:

In his Conference talk, Elder Ballard offers some tips for helping us keep our lives in balance.

1. Think about your life and set your priorities. (ed note: see chart below for more hints on how to set priorities.)
   
2. Set short-term goals that you can reach.
   
3. Through wise budgeting, control yoru real needs and measure them against your many wants in life.
   
4. Stay close to your spouse, children, relatives and friends.
   
5. Study the scriptures.
   
6. Find time for sufficient rest, exercise and relaxation. Schedule it in if you need to.
   
7. Families should teach one another the gospel, preferrably in Family Home Evening.
   
8. Pray often as individuals and families.

A member of the Church by the name of Stephen Covey once came up with a matrix to help determine priorities of everyday tasks.

For every thing in our day, we need to ask ourselves, is it Urgent? Is it Important?

1. If it is Urgent and Important, it needs doing right away. Things such as a crisis, medical emergency, crying baby, and pressing problems count as Urgent and Important. These things are of Necessity.
   
2. Is it Important, but not Urgent, you're better off doing it sooner, rather than later. Preparation/planning, prevention, important relationships (like family) and true recreation are Important, but not necessarily urgent. These things are of Quality.
   
3. Is it urgent, but not important? Sometimes some things seem more important than they are. Many phone calls and emails, other people's emergencies, some popular activities (like television shows) are urgent, but not important. These are the things of Deception.
   
4. What about the things that are not Important or Urgent? Trivia, busywork, mindlessness, some leisure pursuits that do not benefit your health, the mundane. These are the things of Waste and should be avoided.

Sometimes some women mistake Urgency for Importance. Do not make that mistake. If something Urgent crops up, determine if it is Important. If it's not, consider giving it a miss for now and go focus on something Important but not Urgent.

Exercise: Make a list of everything you do in a day. Determine if it's Urgent. Determine if it's Important. Make a priority of the things that are Important.

Filling My Reservoir Exercise: The Selfie

This is an exercise on reflection and analysis.

Get your camera phone and take a "selfie" (self-portrait). Do the one take; don't keep trying and trying until you get the "perfect" shot.

Look at it. Study it. What do you see?

Write down your reactions, no matter what they are. You will have multiple thoughts about this picture, some of them conflicting.

Keep this shot for at least a few days. After that, you can delete it, if you choose. Before you delete it, write down your thoughts behind deleting your selfie. If you choose to keep it, write down your thoughts on that.

There are no right or wrong answers.

Filling My Reservoir - Self-Reflection (February)

How Full is My Reservoir?

There is always room in my reservoirs for more water. Sometimes a sprinkling of water will fall into my reservoirs, but the greatest gains are when I put it in myself.

What kind of water do I need to add to my reservoir?

For these first few weeks, I will take some time to reflect upon myself and have a good, honest look at my character. This is not yet the time to act, but to realise.

I will answer these questions for myself. I will be honest, even if it hurts. This is an exercise to take a good, honest and true look at myself. I can acknowledge what I've achieved, what I've done right. I can acknowledge my lacks and my weak spots. I can only begin to fix them if I can identify them.

Time to get to work.

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Exercise A

Get a simple notebook and create a journal. Write down the answers to the questions on the following page.

As I populate my journal with the answers to these questions, I will do so with courage. I will not shirk or shy away from anything that might be painful.

I want as true a portrait of myself as I can get. Pretending I am strong in an area that is weak will do me no favours. One of my goals is to overcome my weaknesses, not hide away from them.

This is not an exercise in figuring out how to solve these problems. At this stage, I am merely identifying strengths and weaknesses.

• How much courage do I possess? Can I act when afraid or unsure or nervous?
  
• What are my best qualities? How did they become my best?
  
• What are my worst traits? Why are they my worst?
  
• What other traits do I possess (or lack) that I have not mentioned above?
  
• How is my physical health? What is best about it? What is worst about it?
  
• How is my spiritual health? What am I strong in? What am I weak in?
  
• How is my mental health? Do I take every opportunity I have to gain knowledge? Do I know what my limitations are?
  
• How is my self-awareness and perception?
  
• How is my social health? How well do I interact with others? How do they perceive me? (I can--and should--ask select others for the answers to this question. Ask this of someone who will give me an honest answer. They will see traits in me that I may not.)
  
• What makes me happiest?
  
• What scares me?
  
• What do I enjoy the most?
  
• What do I avoid the most?
  
• What do I want to change most about myself?
  
• What is it about myself I wish to keep?
  
• Am I honest with myself?

Filling My Reservoir - Strengthening the Individual Woman (Intro)

Matthew 5:48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

per·fect : [pur-fikt; per-fekt]
adj. 1. conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type.
2. excellent or complete.
3. exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose.
Verb. 1. to bring to completion; finish.
2. to bring nearer to perfection; improve.
3. to make fully skilled.
Origin Latin perfectus, past participle of perficere  to finish, bring to completion

As women, we are often called upon to do many things. When the call comes to us, we are true to our eternal natures and answer it with service.

When our personal reservoirs are full, we are able to give and to work cheerfully.

Sometimes, we find that we've neglected ourselves. Our reservoirs are not as full as they could be, and that leaves us with a bit of a lack. Empty reservoirs will affect our ability to do what we need to in life.

Perhaps we are afraid and we back down from an opportunity for service and growth. Or maybe we go ahead, giving reserves we don't have. As a result, we only end up injuring ourselves. This is not good.

To enable a woman to reach her full potential, we are encouraging her to fill her personal reservoir. We wish every sister to work this year towards filling more of herself so that if she is ever called upon in her personal life, at work, at church or wherever she may be, she will have the capacity and the resources to achieve excellence.

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The Waters of My Reservoir

This year, I will dedicate myself to building me up in these four areas:

Physical Spiritual Mental Social

Sometimes I may find myself stronger in one area than another. I plan to discover what I am weakest in and give it a bit more focus.

Physical

Heavenly Father gave me my body and He wants me to take care of it. I cannot avoid old age, but I can maintain excellent health practices and manage my mortal challenges the best I can. By feeding my body proper food and giving it beneficial exercise and treating it well, I will find my capacity to perform day-to-day will increase. By identifying illness early, I can get it treated and avoid complications.

Spiritual

When I increase my spirituality, I draw closer to my Heavenly Father and I gain a better understanding of my existence. By nourishing my spiritual side, I become more susceptible to the Holy Ghost's influence. Building my spiritual side will put me on a higher level of consciousness and enable me to see the world more as my Heavenly Father would.

Mental

My intelligence has been with me from the very beginning and will continue with me throughout the eternities. I will take the opportunity now to gain as much knowledge as I can. Knowledge is a precursor to wisdom. "The Glory of God is Intelligence."

Social

I am surrounded by my brothers and sisters. How I treat them is extremely important. Likewise, how I act will help determine how they treat me. Confidence and thoughtfulness are excellent goals of the strong, social woman.